I'm going to be taking a few things off for the time being. They'll be back eventually. Just FYI.

Don't really have much to say. Fall band season's been busy. Mr Armbruster is growing on me I guess, though since school started I've been missing Mrs Suhr because I never really felt her absence until school. But besides that, band's starting to feel like my home again. Things That Go Pop! is even growing on me. And I have a solo in the ballad that's really pretty. I'm in the top band this year in school, as a 10th grader, which makes me really happy and it's amazing music.

Besides that, Crimson Shadows (my basement rock band with is doing well. We've got new people and are trying ou t for the talent show on Wednesday.

But yeah, not really been in a great place in life. We had an over-night band trip this last weekend and it was unbearably painful. Then I almost had an emotional breakdown today during 1st hour, and had to fight to keep in the tears. Though in the process of that fight there was some lost blood but oh well.

Bascially the cause of all this is that last week I basically had my heart smashed and handed to me. Knew it was coming all along. But somewhere along the way my hopes had gone up, foolishly on my part, so I had a ledge to be pushed off of when it happened. It hurts to see and talk to him, despite the fact that if you didn't know any better you'd think he had no recollection of the conversation, but that's just life I guess. I'm trying to keep the pain inside to avoid making things worse for both of us, seeing as how none of it's his fault anyways.

Oh well. Self-esteem's way down there lately. I got my first B- on a test this week, AP US History, and I'm behind on homework because of all the junk swimming around in my brain. But I'm pulling through.

That's all I've got, this isn't meant to be a rant letter. Just an update.

I've been going poem crazy lately, as you can see. I also went through and accurately changed the categories. In the process of that I noticed that my writing has both gotten longer and a lot better. It's kinda cool to go back and look at the change.

Ok I just got back from a road trip all over the western part of the country, Montana, Wyoming, South Dakota, North Dakota. So I've got a ton of pictures from Yellowstone and Mount Rushmore. Plus a bunch of stuff because I've had flashes of artistic inspiration all week, in the middle of rural Montana.

But that's about it. Finished driver's ed, finished marching band, so now my summer gets to start. Yay.

Ok sooo.... what's new with me...

Well for starters, Tuesday's the last day of school. It's very bitter sweet because after this year one of the band teachers is moving to Chicago, and I'm really going to miss her; she's more of a friend than a teacher, and an amazing saxophone player. It makes me very sad :'(, and I'm sure I'll be riding home with tears on my face on Tuesday. In fact I can almost guarantee it.

Besides that, love still sucks, I'll get back to you if I ever decide otherwise. Doubt it's going to happen though -_-.

Ummm.... went to the zoo today. Bunch of new pics in my gallery .

Oh, my band has it's first gig (sort of) on Tuesday. In band for the end of the year we're doing a research presentation about a genre of music and I'm in the rock group, so my band is going to play live as a demonstration of rock music. I'm so excited, and nervous. And I can't say I'm excited to bike to school with a guitar on my back.

Let's seeeee.... marching band's started up again. First parade is Thursday. Our show this year is really cool, it's Fiddler on the Roof. And we're doing some amazing visual stuff, plus the music's great. There's this one measure that brings a tear to your eye, it's very slow quarter notes A C# E G then followed in the next measure by an F natural half note <3. Then at the end we get to sing a very sad song, which was kind of cliche to rehearse last week in the rain, haha. I'm kind of excited to sing, I love to despite that according to I'm no good. Oh well.

That's about it, life's kind of sucking right now :S. I'll get back to you later.

Pff stupidest day of the year. It was just created to sell cards and candy. I mean, if you really love someone shouldn't every day be a celebration of that? Not to mention it's pretty depressing walking down the halls at school with all those little hearts and flowers and crap. So yeah, I'm all bitter about this damn holiday, which if you've read some of my recent stuff you'd know that.

Anyways, what's up with me lately... Life's starting to slow down; pep band's almost done for the year. I'm trying to learn an A Minor Etude from hell for a solo contest and that's actually going pretty well, once I can get my embouchure under control.

But yeah. I'll be writing more soon, just lack inspiration because I'm just feeling the same as I have been and I don't think ya want twenty "love sucks" poems, eh?